Hello everyone and welcome to The Struggling Mom!
I wanted give you all a little information about me, my family, and my blog.
For starters, I’m Alyssa. I am a 26 year old, married, first time mom to a beautiful baby boy. I am a graduate of Fitchburg State University and have my bachelors degree in Psychology. I currently work for a high-school as a job coach for graduates of the special education department. My husband and I own a home, we both have good jobs, and did I mention our perfect little boy?! We certainly have a lot of good in our lives and I am always reminded of just how good I have it and how grateful I am for what I have, but that certainly doesn’t mean this journey called life has been easy.
I have always struggled with depression, for those familiar with it, I have what is called dysthymic depression. Basically this means my depression is mild but long term. I live in New England which means we have seasons, my depression usually spikes as fall takes hold as winter comes through (the lack of sunlight during those seasons does nothing for me either). This made my youth a challenge, I was a weird kid. Something that, through my college years, I learned to love about myself and really embraced. I am OKAY. I have never harmed or wanted to harm myself, and most days I function at 98% (because nobody functions at 100% haha). Embracing this demon was the best thing I could’ve done for myself and has really helped me to take control of my life and understand myself a lot better.
We got married in June of 2013 at 21 years old. Some people said “what took you so long” but most just asked me if I was pregnant. *insert some serious side eyes here* (The answer was no by the way). We just knew it was right and once we knew it there was no looking back. My husband and I went to high school together and while I wish I could tell people we were high school sweethearts, we were only besties back then. Yep, I put my husband in the friend zone! But there’s hope for those guys yet because my husband got himself out of the friend zone and into my heart and he has been annoying the crap out of me ever since! haha. But in all seriousness, even when I find him to be the most irritating person on earth, I still love him deeply. He is kind and takes care of our family any way he can. He is the most supportive man I’ve even met and loves me and our son unconditionally.
First comes love, then comes marriage, then comes a baby in a baby carriage! *Yes, I’m Lame!* We decided almost immediately that we wanted to have kids, but we decided it was the right time for us in 2015. (mind you, we still lived in this small one bedroom apartment and I was just finishing college. We were totally not prepared but we didn’t really know it then). Now you might think to yourself that us being young and healthy, we should have no problem once we decided to have a baby. Yeah, that’s what we thought too….but infertility is a real bitch like that and sneaks up on you when you’re least expecting it. I will do another post with more on this but for now let me just say that infertility sucks and well we eventually did get pregnant, but it was a process and it was exhausting. I give huge kudos to the men and women who have it worse that we did and persevere anyways. It is no small task.
We had our son in April of 2017, a year and a half after we started trying. He is the happiest little boy on Earth and we’re beyond lucky and eternally grateful to have him in our lives. He makes us better people every day and shows us that there is light in this dark world. But yes, he can be a handful because like I’ve said before and will say again….No one is perfect!
With all of this good in my life it is hard to imagine that I might be wondering why I chose “The Struggling Mom” as the title/domain of my blog. My answer to that is simple. Nobody’s perfect! Becoming a mom is a challenge! Many of those challenges you didn’t even know would come up but then bam! there they are! There is so much pressure from family, the doctors, society, friends…that you will literally drive yourself insane trying to be the perfect parent! I’m sick of it. I’m done pretending I do it all and that my family and I are perfect because we’re not. And you know what…..THAT’S OKAY!!! My family is safe, happy, and healthy and those are the only things that matter to me anymore. I was not put on this Earth to impress people with my multitasking. I am doing my very best here and you know what, most days that’s all I need. There are days that I struggle and days I need help and even though society has told me I should be ashamed of that, I am choosing not to be. I firmly believe that if people, especially moms, felt that it was okay to ask for help, and that it was okay to make mistakes….the world would be a much happier and better place. I am done trying to be and pretending to be perfect because I’m a mom and I am exhausted! Faking perfect is just too much work on top of everything else that is going on in my life.
So I am here to share my stories of struggling times, times I have felt like a failure, times others have called me a failure, and times that are just plain hilarious, in hopes that you can relate and get some relief from all of that pressure placed upon us moms or women, or Humans! I hope that you enjoy my stories and I would love to hear yours too!
Welcome to The Struggling Mom where faking perfect is just too much work! Let’s start building each other up instead of tearing each other down.
*Disclaimer…..I am not a licensed professional or an expert in any way. My posts are simply based on my experiences. For the privacy of others, real names (other than mine) will not be used or they will be changed.*